Chewing Gum Crisis Resolved

While I was cashiering today, a woman set down her items to purchase. It was some craft paint, maybe some stickers, and several packs of gum.

I specifically remember the gum, because she asked a) if "polar ice" was a mint flavor and b) if I "know anything" about the watermelon flavor. [My answer to a) was "yes!" and b) was "it smells good." My thought on b) was: "I doubt there's even a molecule of actual watermelon in it."]

I rang up the items, loaded them into a bag, and off she went. About half an hour later, I picked up a phone call. It was none other than Customer With(out?) Gum (hereafter known as CWG).

CWG: "I was in your store awhile ago, and I bought some gum. Are you the one who waited on me?"

Me: "Yes, that was me."

CWG: "Well I just got home, and there's NO GUM in my bag. What happened to it?!?"

Me: "I really don't know. It hasn't been busy here tonight, and I remember putting it in your bag. There's nothing laying on the counter here."

CWG: "There is NO GUM here. You put it in a different bag by mistake and gave it to someone else. I have a receipt for it."

Me: "I really don't I did. I rang the gum up last and put it in the bag on top of your other things."
CWG: "There's NO GUM. I'm going on vacation and need it to bring with me! I have the receipt!"

Me: "I'm so sorry you can't find the gum. Maybe it fell out in your car?"

CWG: "IT IS NOT in my car. What am I supposed to do? I have a receipt!"

Me: "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I do remember it being in the bag."

We looped through the conversation several more times, with the main concern being that the gum was needed for vacation. I was thinking, as she was talking: "Why is gum needed for this vacation? Are you flying somewhere? Will you not be able to get gum anywhere else? Don't they sell gum at the airport? I've gotten gum at the airport. Is the TSA involved in this?"

We finally resolved that a) she would return to the store tomorrow with her receipt, b) it would be during a time that I was working, c) I would give her replacement gum at no additional charge, and d) I'd be sure and let my co-workers know that she was indeed entitled to this gum -- just in case I was unavailable to serve.

After hanging up, I realized a nearby cashier was staring at me. She gave me the you-haven't-really-been-discussing-gum-all-this-time Look, and I gave her the oh-you-better-believe-I-have-been Shrug in response.

Exhausted from our Plato-worthy go-round, I walked over to Wood Crafts to put away some returns and ponder the universe. A minute or two later, I was paged to the service desk for a phone call. And yes, Virginia, it was CWG.

"I was just talking to my son. He was in the shower when I called you before. While we were driving home from shopping, I guess our bags tipped over. He picked everything up and put the gum in (wait for it) another bag. I won't be in tomorrow. I do need the gum for vacation." (Of course! Where she's going, gum is used as currency.)

Another half hour I'll never get back.